Winter Flowers
by Mystwalker
Summary: Her other children may have been the fighters, but Aerith always knew Kieran would be the hardest to hold onto, even before he knew it himself. Part of the Snapshots series. Zerith. Another Side AU. Companion fic to Inheritance, Baby Steps, and Our Generation. Oneshot.


**Winter Flowers**

**By:**

**Mystwalker**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy VII.

**A/N**: Was listening to Passenger's Let Her Go, and this popped into my head, so I just had to write it down. Hope you guys enjoy it! This was originally supposed to be more Inheritance/Baby Steps style where the kids were incidental and it was about the parents' feelings, but Kieran has a voice of his own and sort of took over the story. (Zack and Aerith do play big roles though, so it's not just an OC).

You don't have to have read the other futurefics to understand this one, but in case you haven't, a quick summary of whose kids are whose might be helpful. The kids are listed in order of age (oldest first), with age differences inserted in between.

**Zack x Aerith: **Caden (M), Kieran (M), Arielle (F)

**Sephiroth x Cissnei: **Aidan (M), Ella (F)

**Cloud x Tifa: **Raine (M), Zeke (M)

**Rufus x OC: **Lenora (F)

**Tseng x Elena: **Xifeng (F)

**Vincent x Yuffie: **Arisa (F), Victoria (F)

XxXxX

It started in the winter, because of course it did.

Zack doesn't remember that day, because he wasn't there. He was at Cloud's house with Caden and Raine and Aidan, letting the boys play together while Cloud was away, and taking Aidan off Sephiroth's hands for just long enough to allow him and Cissnei to breathe while they prepared for the arrival of their new daughter. Aerith remembers it only vaguely, because Kieran was slippery even then, and what that day meant to him was not the same as what it meant to her, except that perhaps that was the day when she first felt her second son start to slip through her fingers. But Kieran remembers it, and even as an adult, if he closes his eyes, he can see it clearly, that winter day in the flower shop, so many years ago.

His mother knew the men in suits that walked into the shop that day. He could tell that from the way she smiled at them, brightly as always, but with the tension that she reserved for people who were not quite friends but not quite enemies either. Kieran noticed this as he played with his sister behind the counter, but his primary concern at the time had been the way they tracked snow and mud into the shop. He remembered frowning at the red-headed one—not really liking the look of him. He thought about going up to them and telling them that there was a welcome mat for a reason, but his mother gave him that tight-lipped frown that told him that he _must not _wander out from behind the counter, so instead he continued to help Ari color, making sure that the two-year-old did not eat the crayons and keeping an ear on the conversation even though he knew he wasn't supposed to. The red-haired man greeted his mother familiarly, and he pretended not to notice as he pulled a pink crayon out of Ari's mouth, but he couldn't help but look up when he felt the bald man's eyes on him, hidden behind his sunglasses.

"Hey, sis," said the red-haired man. "How's it going?"

"Hello, Reno," said his mother, with that smile again. "It's going well. How are things with you?"

"Eh, been better," says the man, Reno. He gave her a lazy shrug, and an equally lazy smile, giving Kieran the impression that he'd rather be lying on the couch taking a nap than standing here. But there's something about it that Kieran didn't quite trust, even then, so he didn't relax, instead waiting to hear what his mother says and wondering if he should slip out and find his dad.

That was when he noticed the girl. To this day, he's not sure whether he noticed her first or whether Aerith did, only that he looked over and caught her eye, and at somewhat the same time, Aerith said: "And who is this?"

When Kieran would look back on that day later on, he remembered other things. How cold she looked, how prim and proper she was as she stood there, a few feet away from Reno and Rude. The way she stared straight ahead of her, not meeting anyone's eyes, giving the impression that even at the age of five, she was above it all. But at the time, he remembered only thinking about how sad she looked, standing there alone, dressed from head to foot in white, which, in his opinion, was exactly the wrong color to be wearing in winter.

He remembered wanting to know her name.

"That's Len," said Reno, with a shrug. "Boss's daughter. She's in Edge because…" He made a vague gesture with his hand, one that Kieran didn't understand but one that his mother apparently did, because she winced in sympathy and lowered her voice to a whisper.

"So, are the rumors true?" she asked. "About…" She glanced askance at Len as the girl turned aside to examine the flowers. "…you know, the divorce?"

Reno gives her a noncommittal shrug in return. "You'll find out soon enough, I guess" he said.

His mother and the men in suits turned their conversation to other things, something about an opening ceremony and an order for a large amount of flowers, and Kieran stopped paying attention at that point because it was all business and other boring things he'd heard before, and the girl in white has captured his attention now. He didn't know what a divorce was, but knew that it sounded bad, and as he watched her, understood why she looked so sad.

She was lonely.

He didn't know why that bothered him, only that it did, and when they turned to leave and his mother went into the back room to put the order up on the large calendar, he pulled a rose from the display and handed it to her. It was a red rose, and he remembers later pulling it because he wanted to give her something other than white, but he also remembers cutting his hand on the thorns in his rush to hand it to her.

This, he thought, was a perfect omen for all his future dealings with Lenora Shinra.

But at the time, he didn't know any of that, didn't know about the future that awaited them both. He only knew that she stared at him, as if in shock, as he pressed the flower into her hand, telling her to take it before the silent man with the sunglasses ushered her out of the door. He didn't know what happened after that. He didn't know until much later that Len wouldn't let go of the rose in the car, that when she got home all she asked about was the boy with the flowers, who he was and if she could see him again.

He didn't know any of that until Reno told him, years later, but he did know that when he saw her on television, on the news standing next to her father as the reporters say something about how her parents aren't going to be together anymore, she was wearing the rose in her hair.

XxXxX

Kieran saw her again in the summer of that year, when she came into the flower shop. He was alone with his mother then too, because Caden and the other boys wanted to play outside, but Caden was still mad at him for earlier so he wasn't invited. This time, she didn't come in with the two men in suits, but with someone else, a blond woman dressed in the same uniform as the other two men. Whatever was so dangerous about Reno and Rude apparently didn't apply to this woman, because the smile his mother gave her was genuine, if a little tired.

He learned later on that her name was Elena.

"Lenora needed some fresh air," Elena said, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Do you mind if they…?" She glanced at Kieran.

"No," said Aerith, quickly catching on. She turned towards him. "Kieran, why don't you take Lenora upstairs and play for a bit."

He didn't hesitate, and was already halfway up the stairs when he heard his mother shout not to make a mess.

Later, he learned that Elena and Aerith had a long conversation while he was showing Len his toys and books, and the flowers he'd planted. He learned that Len was going to be spending summers in Edge with her mother, and that she very rarely had any interest in children her age, and 'would it be okay if she and Kieran were playmates while she was here?' And because Aerith had never been able to resist taking in a stray (because that was what Len was, even underneath all her power and her finery) and because Kieran did genuinely want to be her friend, she agreed.

Their playdates were constrained to the flower shop and the house above it, and at first, they kept to those guidelines, but Kieran had never been one for walls and boundaries, a trait he shared with his father, and as they grew older and bolder, they started pushing the envelope of what was allowed and possible, sneaking out after dark to watch the WRO's airship fleet arrive just outside the city limits, skirting the edge of the city looking for wildflowers, even going down to an old playground in what was once Midgar's slums. He learned later on that even though he thought he was being secretive, most of their escapades had actually been monitored by one of the Turks—Len was never far out of anyone's sight for long.

Except for one time, the time they had actually been caught. Looking back, he realized that he was proud of that. It was the day that the first crop of wildflowers outside Edge had begun to bloom. They were ten years old at the time, and he'd gone to Len's house only to discover that Len couldn't see him today. She had some sort of appointment with her mother later that afternoon, but from the looks Len had shot him from the mansion's grand staircase, it wasn't one that she actually _wanted _to go to. He remembered flashing her a quick hand signal, one of the ones they'd come up with as a joke because all children came up with some sort of 'secret' code, and this was theirs for 'look out'. She'd nodded at the top of the stairs, and he came around later on, the two of them ducking off into a side street as Lena was walking to her piano lesson.

The crowds in the square had been thick enough that day that they managed to slip away before the Turk on duty could figure out which way they'd gone. They spent the whole day out in the field of flowers, even visiting the church, splashing in the water, and making a general mess of themselves before heading back home to find what looked like every active Turk standing in his mother's kitchen, glaring at him. Kieran got the lecture of his life that day, but it wasn't all bad, because after some argument, the two of them were allowed a little more freedom in their meetings, as long as they stayed within city limits and stayed _under guard_.

That was also the day that Kieran started noticing Tseng watching him.

He didn't know until later that it was that same mishap that had nearly caused an international incident that made Tseng decide he wanted Kieran for the Turks, that his spur of the moment plan to spirit one little girl right out from under the noses of one of the best security networks outside the WRO had impressed Tseng enough to add him to the list of applicants for consideration even though he never applied. And he certainly didn't know until much later that Cissnei had been instrumental in keeping Tseng off his back, and stopping the Director of the Turks from making any direct offers of employment out of consideration for his parents and his youth.

If it hadn't been for Cissnei, perhaps he might have joined even earlier on, perhaps at the same time that Tseng's daughter did, at the age of fifteen. As it was, his decision wasn't made until he was sixteen years old, at a time when his feelings for Len had somehow moved beyond mere friendship.

At a time when, although he didn't know it yet, he was already in love with her.

XxXxX

She came into the flower shop on one of the last days of the summer, when he was still working his shift at the counter. He remembered that day, not just because of the ways his life had changed afterward, but because of how strange the meeting was. It was a little after three in the afternoon, a full two hours earlier than their usual meeting time, and she had come straight from her fencing class. He could tell that by the way she was dressed in a loose white shirt and pants, instead of her usual dresses, her hair braided and slung over her shoulder instead of down over her back. She wore a thin rapier belted around her waist, silver engraved into the hilt.

She also wasn't being followed. He had gotten very good by now at picking her escort out of the crowd. They'd been friends long enough that he recognized most of the Turks, and he'd inherited his mother's eye for detail. The fact that she was unguarded put him on edge. He had already learned who she was and what she meant to the world, and knew that she hardly went anywhere without guard.

Except for today. Her eyes swept over the flower shop, landing on him, and he found himself hard-pressed to remember what he was doing. His mouth moved, though, and he managed to say "Len. You're early."

"I—wanted to talk to you," she said. "Do you think your mother can spare you for a bit?"

"I still have an hour," he said, glancing at Aerith, who was pruning some of the live plants. She didn't bother to look up. He often wondered if his mother had also recognized something different in Len's actions, because she only gave him a tired smile and waved him off with a hand. "Go on, Kieran," she said. "I can manage. It's a slow day."

He hesitated, wanting to ask her why she sounded suddenly worried, but Len was waiting and she'd told him he could go, so he had no more reason to hang around. He thanked her, and as an afterthought, grabbed his staff on the way out the door. Edge was safe, but anything could happen, and Len didn't have a guard.

She gave Aerith her thanks, and if Kieran noticed the guilt in her voice as she spoke, he didn't call attention to it at the time. The two of them ducked out of the shop, into the hot air. Edge was an oven in the summers, with the Wasteland surrounding them. He raised an arm automatically against the sun, and couldn't imagine what it must have been like in the old slums of Midgar, living beneath the Plate. The two of them made their way to the outskirts of the city, because it was so hot, walking towards a manmade pond that had been built and filled in the early days of Edge's occupation. Grass grew at the pond's edge, one of the few, but steadily growing spots of green near the city. It was quiet today, with only a few birds in the water, and some passers-by.

Despite being the home of the WRO, Edge still had a very frontier-town feel to it. They watched from the road as a pair of dusty pick-up trucks rolled through the main gates into town, boxes of cargo on their beds. Kieran immediately sank into the grasses at the edge of the pond. Len took a moment, as she always did, as if uncertain whether or not she should be sitting on the ground, before she shook her head and sat next to him, tossing her braid back over her shoulder so it fell down her back. They sat there in silence for a while, Len fiddling with her thumbs and Kieran content to let her, and unwilling to break that silence.

At length, she took a deep breath, watching a pair of geese splash in the pond as she turned towards him. "I'm going back to Junon tomorrow," she said.

He nodded. It was early, sure, but it was late enough in the summer that it wasn't too unexpected. She always became a little depressed when it was time for her to head back for the school year. It was one of the few times when she allowed herself to show sentiment. "I'll see you next summer, then?" he asked.

"Kieran." Something in her voice made him look up. "There won't be a next summer."

He stared at her, meeting her eyes. For a moment, he wasn't sure if he had heard right.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean," said Len, "that my father thinks I'm ready to take a more active role in the company. He'll be naming me Vice President when I graduate. He wants me to start preparing for that now. I won't be coming back next summer."

He didn't know what to say. He'd always known, of course he did, that whatever they had was something he couldn't keep. Because he couldn't keep her. She was a Shinra, and eventually, Shinra would want her back. He just didn't expect it to be so soon.

But he was good with words, and never speechless for long, and somehow he managed to smile, managed to say: "Well, that's great. You'll do great, I'm sure," before he looked away.

"Kieran." Her voice drew his attention back. He wished she wouldn't, because he needed a few moments to regain his composure, but he looked back at her anyway. She hesitated, and it was only then that she noticed he had something in her hand. An envelope, sealed with the Shinra Company's red diamond. He watched as she toyed with it nervously, not meeting his eyes.

"I want you to come with me," she finally said.

"What?" he asked. His voice sounded hollow even to himself. How could he—? He didn't understand. Or maybe, he didn't want to.

She handed him the letter. "Tseng told me to give this to you," he said.

He took it, holding it lightly in his hands, as if it might bite. Close up, he recognized that the logo was not quite the standard Shinra logo, but the modified one used by the Department of General Affairs.

The Turks.

"What is it?" he asked, even though he had a faint idea of what it might be.

"A job offer," she said.

He didn't answer. His silence, he supposed, must have been answer enough, because she drew in a shaky breath, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "That's what I told Tseng," she said, getting to her feet, as if his answer had already been given. "I'm leaving tomorrow," she added as an afterthought.

That was the last thing she said before she walked away, heading back into town.

XxXxX

He didn't remember how he got home, only that he must have taken a roundabout route, because it was more than an hour later when he did, and he was sunburnt and covered in dust by then. Caden was home, with Aidan and Raine. He could hear them in the living room, watching some martial arts competition. He knew that Caden had heard him come in, because there was a lull in the conversation, and he could tell his brother was coming to talk to him, probably to bully him about something or another or scold him for leaving his shift or tease him about leaving it with Len. The thought of facing his brother at the moment, with the letter in his hand, almost made him physically ill, and he stripped off his soiled shoes quickly, dropping his staff in the weapons rack by the door and making his way upstairs.

His father was in the dining room reading the paper, and Zack looked up at him as he passed, a frown on his face. "Long day?" he asked.

Kieran only shrugged in answer, taking the steps two at a time until he was safely in his room. He closed the door behind him and locked it, tossing the letter onto the desk and lying on his bed. He remembered staring up at the ceiling until the colors swam, remembered hearing the front door open and close, the voices in the house changing as Aidan and Raine eventually left and Ari came home from her martial arts class. His sister hesitated at her door—Kieran could see the shadows shifting from where she stood there—but evidently someone had told her to leave him alone, so she didn't knock, and he heard the door to her room open and close.

He stayed in there until his mother called him downstairs for dinner, and managed to wash up just enough so that he wouldn't get scolded before heading downstairs.

Dinner was quiet enough, with Caden and Ari dominating most of the conversation. Kieran said nothing, which wasn't too odd, since he was the quietest of the three, but his silence seemed to have a different tone that day. He picked at his food, eating slowly, and was halfway through his meal when a story came on the news and his father looked up at the TV.

"Hey, Kieran," he said. "Isn't that Len?"

"Ooh, little brother's girlfriend?" asked Caden, grinning at him.

He ignored his brother, his eyes fixed on the TV. He watched as Len's father took center stage, Shinra's banner displayed proudly behind him as he explained that in two years' time, he intended to name Lenora Shinra as the Vice President of the Shinra Manufacturing Company.

Then the cameras turned to Len, and she was asked for her comments, and he found he couldn't watch anymore.

"Excuse me," he said stiffly, standing up. "I'm not hungry."

No one questioned him, although he knew he wasn't imagining the looks of concern on his parents' faces, and on his sister's, as he picked up his plate and went to his room. Even his brother seemed slightly more subdued as he walked past him, picking his way up the stairs. The door opened and closed behind him, silence filling the house.

He didn't stay in his room for long, eventually slipping out the window and climbing onto the rooftop. In retrospect, he probably should have taken the letter with him, but a part of him wondered if maybe he wanted it to be found, to provide the explanations that he himself couldn't give.

At any rate, a part of him wasn't surprised, and maybe it was even a little grateful, when his father appeared on the roof next to him, the letter in his hand with the seal broken. He sat down next to Kieran, handing it to him. Kieran took it without complaint, running his finger over the broken seal and wondering why he never actually bothered to read it. It was all very official looking, and printed on nice paper too.

He supposed reading it would have made it more real.

Zack said nothing for a while, then sighed, stretching out and resting his hands on his knees. "When were you going to tell us about this?" he asked.

"When I figured out what I thought of it myself," said Kieran, wondering if he was going to get scolded for his smart mouth again. That was one of his parents' biggest complaints about him. When Caden and Ari threw tantrums, they got angry. But Kieran had learned early on that he wasn't big enough, scary enough, or strong enough to throw his weight around. So, he got smart. He watched his father's face, waiting for any signs of disapproval, but Zack only smiled, tilting his head back and looking up at the stars.

"Always wondered how much the Turks made," he said. "Now, I know."

_Wonderful, _he found himself thinking. _My dad knows my salary before I do. _But he shied away from the thought as soon as he thought it, because it sounded an awful lot like he wanted to accept, and he didn't. He knew that he didn't.

Or at least, he knew that he shouldn't.

"Are you going to accept?" asked Zack, as if he could read his mind. Kieran looked away from his father, and found himself torn between the urge to crumple up the letter in his hand and toss it off the rooftop or to put it safely away, where no one could touch it. He couldn't even begin to think how to answer that question, and because he couldn't put a spin on it, he ended up answering on instinct anyway.

"It's not like I can," he said. "Or even that I should. Caden's joining the WRO in the fall, and we all know Aidan's going to follow him. And Ari—." He shook his head, not wanting to admit the things that his little sister had told him in confidence, that she wanted to join the WRO too. He had a feeling, by Zack's expression though, that he already knew.

"It's not like you'll be on the moon," Zack pointed out. "Junon's an airship ride away. And the Company's changed a lot in twenty years. They're not how they used to be."

He stared at his father, because he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Do you want me to join?" he asked, incredulous.

"I want you to do what feels right to you," said Zack, looking out over the city of Edge. "And I don't want you to run away, like I did. Whatever you choose, your mother and I will support you. You know that, right?"

When he said nothing, just pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on his arms, Zack looked over at him. "I bet that girl must be lonely," he said. "You know, she never seemed as happy on TV as she was when she was here." He gave him an understanding smile. "Maybe that's why she asked you. Anyway, it's your choice, Kieran. We'll be here for you if you need us."

Zack squeezed his shoulder once in support, then left him alone on the rooftop. Kieran sat there for a while, thinking over what he could do, and what he _should _do, and what—yes, he couldn't deny it now—he _wanted _to do. He sat there for what felt like hours, until his limbs grew stiff and the city of Edge grew dark beneath him, half hoping that the Planet would speak to him, send him _some _sign. But it seemed the Planet was in the same mood his father was that night, letting him make up his own mind. At length, he slid down the roof, slipping back into his room. He let the letter fall out of its envelope and read it, every word. By the time he was finished, it was past midnight, and he slipped out into the kitchen to get a glass of water, already thinking about how the morning would go, and how he would tell his parents. How Caden would take it, how Ari would take it. What people would say about him.

He thought of Len. Thought of her standing up there on that podium answering questions, all alone, and thought of the little girl he had met so many years ago, that one day in the winter.

He was on his way back to his room when he saw Aerith standing on the staircase waiting for him. And he could tell from the look on her face that she knew about everything, and she knew what his answer would be. He could tell it by the weariness on her face, the tired, sad look in her eyes as she stared at him. And he wondered what kind of a horrible person he was, because he knew that his answer would break her heart. Because he was _her _son, more than Caden was. He was the boy with the flowers, her child of the Cetra.

But instead of scolding him, she smiled, and in that smile was all the warmth and acceptance he had ever known, and the knowledge that she understood too, that everything he was deciding now had been set in motion on that day, eleven years ago. That she was willing, even though it hurt, to hold him once and let him go.

It would not be the last time that Kieran felt he could never deserve his parents.


End file.
